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here is something
In that dream last night, that dream that kept me in bed, helped me ignore the fire alarms, makes me scared to answer a certain email, I was dancing. My feet were pointed and I could float in the air and I did perfect splits. There were other things, yes, of course there were other things (my dream are never so simple) but oh it was wonderful to feel those muscles doing those things, things they haven’t done in years, things that make my calves cramp after only seconds, make my thighs feel like they’re tearing.
I’m going to start again. I would love to have that flexibility, that fluidity of movement back.
Do I really need to tell you these things? Can’t you just read them here? I am so afraid to go into the valley of my self.
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love notes
these are things that I could not tell you;
things that remind me of you when I want nothing more than to forget;
things that have gone wrong;
things that have gone right;
things that will never happen;
things that are your fault,
my fault,
the faults of no one;
these are things that we did not do and will not let go of
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